Thursday, November 24, 2022

Felltower Thanksgiving Turkey

I'm thankful for turkey, so let's talk about how to make it Felltower stye.

1) Prepare the turkey by thoroughly rinsing it, then stuff it with Strength and Dexterity potions. Coat with Missile Shield, Shield, Invisibility, Levitation. Optionally, Great Haste it. Encase it in the best armor money can buy and festoon it with 4-5 different weapons in case any are dropped in the dungeon.

2) Pre-heat Felltower to about 50 degrees F.

3) Insert Turkey into Felltower. Optionally, teleport it nude into an even deeper part of the dungeon and take away the player's maps. Douse repeatedly with Paut and healing potions and toxic, corrosive, cutting, crushing, impaling, and piercing damage. Optionally: include some tight-beam burning for crispiness.

4) Bake for 9 hours every other Sunday until the turkey or most or all of the adventurers are slain.

5) Repeat annually for 11+ years.

6) Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving fellow Felltower-Americans!

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