Monday, November 3, 2014

Mad Wizard Did It!

Or a demented godling.

This list, culled from a variety of sources, is pretty freaking awesome reading. The comic linked at the bottom pretty much explains everything.

Mad Wizards and Demented Godlings*

There is a reason why my players - including those who run wizards - claim you can't trust any wizards.

To add a few the author, Max, didn't get to because they're from other, non-D&D and non-Palladium sources:

As-Sharak (Dungeon Fantasy 2: Dungeons): "The as-Sharak are elemental sorcerers who sold their souls for power . . . only to be turned into monsters in Hell and returned to the living world to punish similarly arrogant mortals."

Eye Entity (Rolemaster Creature & Monsters): "Eye Entities are formed through a magical ritual and a foul alchemical process [. . . ]"

Eye of Death (Dungeon Fantasy Monsters 1): "It’s also known that reckless wizards
sometimes summon eyes of death into this world."

Flaming Skull (Dungeon Fantasy 2: Dungeons): "The jury is out on whether they’re necromantic creations or free-willed evil spirits who loathe mortals."

Gladiator Ape (Dungeon Fantasy Monsters 1): "Not every mad wizard or strange civilization is satisfied with mere flesh-eating apes (Dungeons, p. 23). These flesheaters have been bred as vicious combatants."

Golem-Armor Swordsman (Dungeon Fantasy 2: Dungeons): "This construct consists of a flesh golem – made from a formerly living swordsman – riveted inside solid metal plates that are also animated, thereby augmenting strength."

Lich (Rolemaster Creature & Monsters): "When confronted by unavoidable death, most Evil Clerics, Evil Magicians, and Sorcerers depart life with one last, dreadful curse. A few forgo this privilege to become Undead, securing immortality as liches."

Shadows (Rolemaster Creature & Monsters): "Shadows are the result of a horrible ritual known only to a few Necromancers and recorded in only the most despicable tomes of vile knowledge."

The Rolemaster ones are supported by many more, as are the GURPS ones. I only picked a few examples from DFM1. My examples don't even scratch the surface of the evidence that, basically, wizards are d***s. Mad gods, not much better.

* By the way, I love that he, too, colored in his monster manuals. Here is my Fiend Folio.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Thanks for the additional evidence, Peter!

    "Not every mad wizard or strange civilization is satisfied with mere flesh-eating apes....These flesheaters have been bred as vicious combatants." Ssshlol, why settle indeed!

    1. I'm glad to help. I loved your post.

      I'm especially glad you like that line about gladiator apes - I wrote that monster for that book.

  3. I'm surprised you didn't include any Stormbringer/Elric monsters that are created by sorcery. They might be too far out there however but that is the way Chaos is.

    1. I didn't even think to look there. There are more out there - I was tempted to pull out my Pathfinder Bestiaries, too, but I figured I'd just get a few choice ones out there. It's not a complete list.


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