Over at Blood of Prokopius there is an excellent post where he puts Jeff Reints's 20 Questions to a Neural Network Web Toy.
It's one of the funniest posts I've read.
So I decided to "help" my players by asking the Neural Network Web Sage some questions that have been nagging the PCs. I edited down to just the paragraphs I liked, but the words are all from the toy.
"What is beyond the Jester Gate?"
As a matter of fact, here is what is beyond the Jester Gate – a complete new experience where you feel like you are being transported back to some past time, a time long forgotten and now suddenly alive again.
Here, we will go into the realm and visit various places and see what is happening inside the realm.
The journey begins by crossing the gate at the end of the "Gated Passage" (the "Gate") and you get to the second "realm" – which is not "inside the gate" but closer to the real "realm" – as you take the path right outside of the gate. You will go past some "vigilant guards" of various faiths who will offer to help you by helping you to the way of the spirit world (or as they describe, the place of the "Witches", just outside the gate), to make a connection with spirits from the previous "realm", who will guide you through the labyrinthine labyrinthine paths.
I love how it gets just as pedantic as I can sometimes.
Where in the Lost City is Rangol Grot?
To travel around here, take the main path to the right. You're just on the opposite side of the room from the room with the gate. Go towards the doorway, where you see two crates inside. Open one of them, then go on and find Rangol Grot himself in one of the crates. When you get close enough, he will open his eyes and say "What are you? You're the last living member of a forgotten tribe of humans!"
You are allowed to pick up this weapon to continue, but it might be best to keep it if you want to take Rangol Grot along with you. When you're ready, head up the stairs. At the top of the stairs is Rangol Grot, who will be waiting for you. Now, as you were previously told, you can pick up Rangol Grot from him. To do this, go down and pick up the Key.
Yeah, but which box is he in?
How do we get past the repelling doors?
Is it because we're too busy? It can't be done.
Nice - philosophical backhand followed by a gnomic hint.
And here is one for Hillbilly in Gamma Terra. Presumably he's asking a Think Tank that's a bit on the fritz:
Where can we find a functional black ray gun?
You cannot find a functional black ray gun in China. What are the black raksma in China? A black rakma in China is probably in the shape of a ball. Does the ball shoot bullets? It is true — there is a black ball in China. Are there black balls? Not at all. Why? Because it is not there at all. There are no black bullets in China. Where is the black rakma? No, not there. Where is the ball in China? It is everywhere. If the ball were to fire bullets there, it would not be a ball but a black ball… It is a black ball. People will say you can't shoot a black ball in China… But this is because you are not in China. The reason to say that is, in China, no black balls are in any shape at all. People are allowed to believe whatever they want as long as they don't destroy the universe, so they must be true.
So, we shouldn't look in China, that's for sure. Or should we? I'm not looking forward to finding out what a Chinese black rakmsa is. It's ball shaped . . . or it's not there. Who can tell?
I love that last line. As long as I don't destroy the universe, I'm pretty much okay to believe stuff. Roger that!